(a
past life memory)
I
remember Versailles,
with
its hundreds of suites
and
thousands of maids,
each
prettier than the next.
The
King placed his palace
with
its pleasures and mysteries
at
my disposal, trusting, he said,
that
I would quickly learn
how
to negotiate
the
corridors of power.
In
the mornings, when the maid bent to her task,
I stole
behind her, lifted her skirts.
Being
so far from home and family,
having
crossed the ocean with my pack,
it
felt natural to take my delight.
When
the noble ladies heard of my appetite,
they
sent me invitations
to join
them for a midnight snack.
One
particularly ravishing Countess
demanded
to be savagely ravished
for
remaining virginal in such a vital court.
When
I had put an end to her abstinence,
I
rested my weary head between her breasts.
She
sweetly whispered into my throbbing ears,
“I’ve
been properly chastised for my chastity.”
It
was she who introduced me to her husband,
the
Count and a Minister of the realm.
“You
have a charming way of catching the ears
of
the key players in this game,” he told me.
“It
was not their ears I tickled,” I responded,
but
the Count held up his hand for silence:
“The
King is inclined to send our Navy to your
distant
shores and blockade the British where they rest.”
“That
is the best news a young State can ask for
and
we shall do the rest! But tell me,
My
Excellent Lord, how did you come to your decision?”
“It
was my wife, the Countess, who assured me that
such
vigor as you display will win the war.
Now
the Countess seldom reaches such heights
of ecstasy
concerning international matters,
and
I hope it is only her enthusiasm that has infected me.”
The
Count gave me a wink and continued,
“The
British Generals and Admirals will be
along
your shores for a few years,
but
you must let your government know
that
their wives often come here for their holidays
and
we treat them with the same French hospitality
as
we have treated you, my American friend.”
“With
open arms,” I said, having to leave, feeling bereft.
“With
open legs,” he said, turned on his heels and left.
October 10, 2003 (revised June 22, 2004)
Priceville, Ontario