We have had a number of calls in the last few months from people who had lost their
precious Beardie friends. They have varied in their circumstances. Two families had lost
friends of over 13 years. One family had lost their dog unexpectedly during a minor
surgery. Another had a tragic accident. Personally, we have lost three of our geriatric
set in less than two years. The point of this column is not to be morose, but to help deal
with the loss.
Whenever, however it happens, we are never ready to lose our
friend. Beardies being so much more than "just" dogs become important members of
our families. The loss of your Beardie is the loss of someone important to you.
When your friend is aged, it is possible to anticipate the loss. Most beardies live
to rich ages of 13 to as old as 17. But, they are never with us long enough. However the
loss occurs, it is important to understand that you will grieve for your friend.
Kubler-Ross identified five stages of grieving, from denial to acceptance. Each person
moves through the stages at different rates based on their relationship with the one they
loved.
When we experienced the loss of our first Beardie, I went looking for resources to
help me through the loss and sorrow. Some that I recommend and can be ordered through Dogs
in Canada, Book Department are:
• Old Dogs, Old Friends - Wilcox and Walkowicz (Chris Walkowicz is a Beardie breeder)
• Coping With the Loss of A Pet - Lemieux
• Coping With Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet - Anderson
• The Loss of a Pet - Sife
I remember sobbing uncontrollably (sometimes inside) after we first lost Chelsea
anytime I saw something that reminded me of her. It was over a year before we could
publicly acknowledge her loss and I still have difficulty as the anniversary of her death
approaches. With time, I began to remember the good things - her sleeping on the end of
our bed every night, doing rounds at 2 AM to ensure everyone was tucked in, her nose
gently nudging my hand for a pet, her sleeping on my feet as I read ... and the sorrow
dissipated somewhat.
Give yourself time to grieve and allow yourself to experience sorrow. If there are
children in your family, help them with the loss at a level they can understand. Find a
friend to listen and who will understand the loss of your Beardie. If you need it, have a
small memorial to say goodbye. Don't rush into replacing your friend. One never can. Write
about your friend, think about your friend, use pictures, videos and memories to relive
the happy times.
In James Herriot's book, Dog Stories, there is a story called "The Card over
the Bed." It is about an elderly, dignified invalid with five treasured elderly pets.
After one passes on, she asked Mr. Herriot if animals have souls and if her animals will
go with her. His response, " If having a soul means being able to feel love and
loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. . . And, wherever
you are going, they are going too." Over the lady's bed hung a card that read, 'God
is near." And, at his side sits His Beardie. |